-March 31st. It is finally time to announce another month is down in my books. This is going by so fast and I wouldn't trade anything from the life experiences I've had.
This is my life and I'm not changing it. Thank you for reading
-March 30th. Laundry Day
-March 29th. I woke up pretty late to a call from Kadee. We chatted for a few minutes and I got out of bed and started watching The Office with my mom. We laughed and chatted for a bit and than she went and got my brother. While she left I jumped in the shower and cleaned the house. It made some time go by pretty quick so that was nice. After the house was cleaned and me as well. I sat down to keep watching The Office and have some Pb and J's. This was pretty much the whole day with talking to Kayla every other hour.
-March 28th. Saturday and finally a chance for me to get out of the house all day. My whole family and Sheila's family was going to I think all our firsts' Roller Derby Match. It was quite the day! We got to watch girls throw and push other girls around. Our team ended up losing but it was still a good experience. After the Match my Mom, Sheila and I went to Chili's to get some dinner. It was some bomb ass dinner besides the faggot blue guys coming in and having dinner. At the end of dinner I went to the bathroom and I guess our waitress told my Mom and Sheila that her boyfriend beat the fuck out of her, went to jail and got released. Than went to the hotel that her and her kids were staying at and shot out the windows. Than she stated that she was scared because she got pulled into the office by her manager because he called and was flipping out. She was scared he was going to shoot up the place so we bounced out their really quick. Oh what a night
-March 27th. Justin came over to visit because he hasn't bee out of West Jordan and no one has really visited me. We had some good talks while listening to some good ol' hardcore. We were to get some food and Ryan pulled in and I was like what the fuck? It was good to see Ryan, I haven't seen him in quite some time. We headed down to Noodles in Justin's rental car. We arrived there and once again Adam was working and I joked with him about this picture I found of him on Flickr. We got some food, sat down, chatted about what's been going on and hung out. On our way out Ryan noticed that he walked out with their cup and said fuck it. We went back to my place to hang out. I really wanted to go benching and some how The Wall of Fame got brought up. I said I knew where it was and we all have never been there so we were pumped. We drove up there and had some difficulty finding it but than we finally found it. It was the highlight of the day. It's been awhile since I've taken pictures and I finally got to start on my Panorama for School. I played in the River for quite some time. Ryan and I had a blast jumping from rock to rock and finding a bunch of random shit. That was pretty much the day.
-March 26th. I got a Journal yesterday and left it with Kaysha by accident. I gave her the green journal. I received mine back today and I'm pretty pumped to start writing in that little guy when I travel. It is also officialy Spring Break now! SCORE; I get to sit inside the whole time with barely anyone who comes and visits. In 8 days though I get to see Kayla and than it's my birthday. So I'm getting ready for that.
-March 25th. Went to the Springville Art Museum today with my school. That was pretty fun and it was a nice place with a bunch of great work. There was some stuff that me and my friends could have easily out done in there but it was nice to see the things we did. During lunch we stopped down in Provo and I ran down to Death or Glory to kick with the boys down there and made Breck take me to Wendy's. We had some good talks and I found out some stuff that has been happening in the South. Afterwards he took me to the bus and we headed home. It was a good day at school.
-March 24th. It was just another Tuesday. House Arrest blows...I kinda wish I had a ankle bracelet so I can re-inact Disturbia. My neighbors aren't even interesting to try to find things out. Except for the people who live across from me. They leave their door open some times and their computer is right next to the couch.
-March 23rd. It was the beginning of the week and I really wish Kayla would have got to stay another day because she didn't go to work. School was really the highlight because I found this litte thing on Flickr today during Commercial Art.
-March 22nd. Dinner Date with Kayla was today. We woke up pretty early once again. We got ready and sat aruond the house, chatted with my Mom, cuddled, made jokes, ate popscicles and watched The Office. A little later Kayla and I was getting hungry and we decided to have Noodles and Company for a second night. We ordered in and Kayla went and got it. I told Adam to hook it up with some drinks so we got that for free. She came home and we had dinner together. We watched The Office and made silly jokes.
I've never had something that means so much. I mean come on..we are adorable.
-March 21st. After Kayla spent 4 hours in the car just to come see me and I talked to her mother most of the night we fell asleep and woke up pretty damn early. It was about 10 o'clock am and that isn't like us. We got ready, ate cereal and ventured around the house. Nato ended up showing up when we were getting ready and brought me food and kicked it with us for a bit. Kayla got upset with her friends and Nato and I cracked jokes and laughed. Around 2:40ish we all left. Nato left with Fat Anthony and we headed down town to get my hair cut. That was the highlight of the day. I've needed one so bad and I finally got it cut all off. Afterwards we all ordered in food for dinner. My Mom ordered Mexican Food and we ended up ordering at one location and than went to another. Kayla and I ordered in Noodles and Company because that's our thing. We stopped at 711 afterwards to get some drinks and headed home to watch The Office and eat.
After dinner Kayla and I cuddled and made jokes. She ended up falling alseep on the couch while we were watching The Office and I went and got ready for bed. Kayla got up to join me and we sat in bed and talked. Nato called around like 2 and came over to spend the night. It was a good day at sea
-March 20th. It was a beautiful day today and I have to sit inside all day. Fuck House Detention. Kimmeh came and visited me which was really nice. Since none of my other so called friends have. It's been relaxing I assume. I've done some reading, writing and have listend to a good portion of music.
Later Kayla got on and informed that she was going to come down tonight because she couldn't take it anymore. It made the rest of my day
-March 19th.
HARRY SOLD OUT OF VEGETARIAN!!! Probably one of the greatest days of my life. Carnivores 1. Veg heads 0
-March 18th. After my allergies kicked in I came home and slept the rest of the day. I've been really tired lately
-March 17th. Trying to get back into a routine with court shit on my mind. Honestly wish I would have stayed in Seattle and took some consequences. Least I would have my youth.
-March 16th. Got home around 8ish from the Road and had court at 10. HOLY FUCK is it stupid as fuck. I don't even know where to begin with the shit they are trying to get after me. It doesn't even make sense...but as long as you have a badge, and a crooked system you can charge anyone with anything. FUCK YOU FUCKING FUCK!
-March 15th. Woke up to our last day in Seattle. It was a day filled with rain. I didn't want to go back to Utah. Nato and I played a prank on our friends stating that we weren't coming home and that we were staying. So that was pretty fun. We drove around the city last time and got in our last photos. We stopped at the Harbor and looked over to Canada and than it was off to the baseball park. This trip had made my life. Fell asleep a few times on the way back, stopped in Portland and than came home. Fat Anthony got pulled over again and got a ticket this time. It was one hell of a road trip.
-March 14th. This is all I have to say. This is the beginning and the ending of the day. FUCKING WOW! Fuck who you want to see. I stage dived and piled on with Terror. We are not tough, we are not hard, we are not cool, we are all fucked up kids. Doesn't matter if you have long hair, or short hair. Whether your light skin or dark skin. Or have a dick or a pussy...we are all fucked up kids who have gathered in one single place for one thing. Music.
It was a good rainy day in a place I want to call home so badly. I've met some people and ran into a friend who left us all. It was nice meeting you Jaimie and Aubrey. It was also nice meeting all the locals.
-March 13th. Around 10:30ish we were talking about what to do since Dan's parents have cracked down and got all strict. The boys started talking about a road trip. Everyone threw in their suggestions. First it was going to be Boise, than it went to Wyoming for fireworks, than Denver and finally Seattle was the last destination. Everyone was getting hypy; except for Ivan because he knew he couldn't go and had to sit home with gays. I told Nato and Anthony just to wait a day and I could go...we said fuck and we were going to talk my Mother into it tonight. We headed over to my house and got into my house. My Mom was walking around and we told her that we were going to Seattle. It took a minute for my Mom to realize what was going on and had to ask us multiple times if we were really going. We said hell yeah we weren't playing and all she said was "you have school". I told her that it was an un important day after Nato was answering all of the questions she asked me. I made a few calls and tried to get a hold of Melanie. But since she changes her number every other week I couldn't get a hold of her and had to leave her a voice mail. We packed our shit and grabbed our bags. After we got everyone that was going and was set on going. Nato called or received a call from Brian and we went and seen the new born baby.
It's so weird to think that I'm so close to someone and they have a kid which is now going to be apart of mine and my friends lives. The baby is beautiful and has both features of Brian and Courtney. CONGRADULATIONS KIDS!!!
We left the hospital to meet up with Anthony at his house. We threw his shit in the car and we headed down to Provo to pick up his friend Alicia. By the time we picked her up it was 1 o'clock and hit the road.
The drive to Boise consisted of us guys singing N'sync and Backstreet Boys. We bumped a bunch of old tunes such as The Crannberries, Mortal Kombat(FULL FUCKING SONG), Space Jamz and than the typical road trip music: Trash Talk, Bracewar, (n1nth) cloud, and Y@K Ballz!. Somewhere after we got this boost of energy I was out like a light.
Possibly an hour later I woke up to Anthony nudging me asking me if I could get in the glove compartment. I woke up and looked over to see red and blue lights flashing behind us. We laughed for a minute and I got to searching. The cop ended up coming on my side and it was really awkward. This took place around 5 am. Once again I was out for the rest of the trip.
I would wake up to adjust and get situated, pick a song, and drink my orange shit.
I was up for the rest of the trip a little while before we reached Portland. We drove around Portland for an hour trying to find the Mall. My good friend Melanie called us up when we were at the 711 and told us she was going to meet us at the mall. We got to the mall and it was ridicolous. It was a three story mall with a fucking ice rink in it. We complained about why our mall doesn't have one and than argued with a Phone Sales Man. We ended up walking around the mall and found this little Pirate Shop. It was very sweet little shop. Not to long after we kicked it in their Melanie and Jordan walked in. It was so nice to finally see this girl who has had such a big impact in my life. After four years we finally sealed something to do on our to do list. It was very nice to meet Jordan as well. He makes one of my best friends happy and has showed her what a real boyfriend can be like. Plus that mother fucker is taller than I thought. We chatted for a bit and laughed at dumb little things. We asked Melanie if she knew any vegan places for Anthony to eat at and made fun of him like we usually do for eating turtle food. After we got a few places for him to eat at. Jordan said we had to cross the bridge into the city. One of my favorite things about Portland so far had to be the bridges and the whole city. We arrived in the city and parked in China Town. We started our adventure from their to find this Veganoplis place. We stopped at a Starbucks to ask for directions and found out that the little vegans went out of business. We laughed our asses off and the guy gave us another place to eat. It was called Rocco's...it was a little pizza shop that had Vegan Pizza. This place was fucking bomb! It was pretty sweet though...The slices were bigger than our faces and they sold beer at this place. You don't get that shit in Utah. Pizza was amazing and was so close to the road it was like eating in the middle of traffic. Anthony didn't want to eat his Vegan pizza because it had mushrooms and some shit he didn't like. So Nato and I eat that shit!
After we got food we went back down to Chinatown so Anthony could eat. That place was really creepy with some crazy asian lady on the tv. Once Anthony was done eating it was time to get on the road.
We had three hours ahead of us due to traffic. I love the road more than anything. This road trip has to be one of my favorite trips. Just everything about the road is incredible. The nature, the bridges, the overpasses, the train tracks, the road and the images.
I fell alseep on and off during the last three hours of the trip. We finally arrived to Seattle around 8 o'clock. We have drove around the city, ate food, got lost, checked out the Stratisphere and got a dope ass deal on a Hotel.
We got a room with a King Size Bed. A hottub in the room and a extra bed. It's legit and probably the greatest thing to me right now.
-March 12th. Today was a pretty good day. I got Married to Hannah in Adult Roles and for some reason found myself shaken. My mom checked me out right before lunch to deal with some things and I ended up going to lunch with my Mother and driving around talking. Once we did what we had to I went back to school to tell Shelly that I was done for the day and to talk to my brother. Afterwards I bumped into Hillary and spent half an hour talking to her. After school I had to take my brother downtown to get a hair cut. We ended up chatting and than coming home afterwards. I hung out by myself for a bit till my mom got home. Than we went to Jamba Juice, confirmed some paypal stuff and I ordered some clothes. Today was the first time I've had Jamba in almost a year. The last time I had Jamba was with Taryn around the ending of the school year. I ended up falling asleep and didn't finish my Jamba Juice. I'm pretty upset about it....than Nato came over and we ended up taking a mini-roadtrip through the canyon with Ivan and Jon Jon. It was a pretty laid back day.
-March 11th. I spent the day with a friend who has become a good part of my life. He will be missed...I will write more later.
-March 10th. Some of my friend Sara's writing. I really enjoy reading here writing. In a way it's been a big inspiration.
-It's in the Wind
I expect too much. from you, from me, from the world. I expect too much, but too much by their standards not mine. what I expect, what I need, what I know can and will happen, is not too much, but just enough.
we are so much more. so much more than everyone says that we are and can be. what they tell me is beauty and joy isn’t enough for me.
I must and will have more. and I will because the little gap in my heart that causes me so much pain, the skip in the record that needs to be filled, gives me room to find the extraordinary. and I will. my heart will feel more than you ever thought a heart can feel and my mind will see things that no one even knew existed: the little gossamer threads that tie life together, and which, if you don’t look carefully enough, you will miss as you see things moving in space and not the ties that bind them.
just watch me.
-March 9th. About an hour into the day I'm glad to call it a day. It was planned to be a "headache day" and sure enough that's what it has been. The headache has came, thoughts have rushed, Shook Ones has played my Ipod out. It's times and nights like these were I don't feel much. My Ipod repeats my favorite songs and bands like a broken record. My hair gets dirty and I procastinate on taking off my socks. I get hot and cold flashes that torture me into ripping off and throwing on my Champion Hoodie. Is this the Change I've been looking for? Or is this what I've been destined to do? Is this your so former God's punishment for me not being able to look up and call him Father? I'm only a brother; and no Son. I've forgot what's it's been like to be a Son cause my Father was never there. I've become a Brother among families and families. I'm still moving things for my chance....moving things to put in the perfect place to make me. I've made a name for myself and I've started to do something with my life. I will be remembered in someones eyes....I just hope they remember me enough to visit my tombstone and celebrate my death. That's a thought that has scared me into not sleeping. Will people say they miss me enough to visit my death bed? Or use me as a way to get out of work and school? Answers and thoughts that keep me up throught the night I call sanctuary.
You know the quote from Stand By Me and how you never have the friends you do when your twelve? I thought about it today for some odd reason more than others. The other night I had a dream, I guess even a nightmare. I was in my old neighborhood and they were tearing my friends old house down. And for some reason we went in it...I don't know for memories or just to break things but I was walking up the stairs with someone..someone who is a blurr to me. We were walking up the stairs to the second floor. Which would lead to Justin and Brennan's bedroom. There was family pictures of this family that was almost my family. For some reason I broke down...I cried my eyes clean. Since that dream I've thought about the Helstein family and how much I miss them. That family was supposed to be there forever. I was supposed to Jr. High with my bestfriend. Go to school dances, experience growing up forever. They moved away and I haven't heard from them in years. I don't know if this has to do with being a Senior and almost graduating. But it's starting to hit me. The closest people I've had in my life have seemed to go on to bigger and better things. It gets to me...what do I have to look foward too? It scares me sometimes
-March 8th. A Sunday with an overcast that showed my life in the heavens above. It showed blue skys with shades of grey. The only thing I've been looking foward to. Y@K BALLZ! with the boys. A last minute show and one artist I thought I would have never seen. It was a good day down at the shop. Nato and I got in dirt cheap because we are homies and went down to Carl Jr's to get some food. I've always felt dirty when I eat there...I don't know why but I feel homeless or scummy. The show was amazing, KOSHA DILLZ was sick. Check out that lil jewish homie. Nice guy great music. From Definition opening up, to open mic and watching friends and strangers freestyle to Kosha Dillz was amazing but during Y@K's set I started getting that feeling...the same feeling of when you don't get a call from a loved one, the same feeling of being away from home as if you are a runaway, the same way you feel when you look back at the friends you once had or even the promises your parents coulnd't keep. Music is my life...and I got put in this mood for one song. I seen the disapointment in my friends eyes when the set was over and he still hadn't played that one song. Once he thanked everyone and brought up that the song that wasn't played and why it hadn't been played. He told the story of why he was now going to play it. The excitement and sparkle in my friends eyes and including of mine made all of those past feelings of insecurity and of confusement away. Y@K played "Spy On You" and that was the night. Plain and simple. From beginning to the end. You have to know my friends, the memories that song has and brings. The meaning...the night
-March 7th. Woke up and started playing some Halo. Jumped in the shower and got ready. Nato got home right when I got done getting ready and started back up my Halo Game. We went and got food and than went to a party for his friends. I ended up knowing some people from the party and they were people I haven't seen since they graduated or moved. It was a pretty ok night... it's always nice to get away from things and surround yourself with people who don't know you outside of those walls. It was like the party scene from SLC Punk. I was Herion Bob and didn't say much. It was in reality a weird night.
Afterwards we met up with everyone at CC and tried to decide what to do for the night. We sat around and chatted. Nato, Alyssa?, and I went back to Brians to call it a night. I watched Stand By Me as they fell asleep. After the movie I played some Halo and than fell asleep with my two blankets feeling completely alone.
-March 6th. It was a blurr really...
-March 5th. Fashion show, with Keylow and Werst.
-March 4th. I headed down to BFE with Werst to photograph this thing he was painting for a Fashion Show. The day started off pretty good and than it got really cold. We met one of the biggest dogs ever. A stray dog that looks like you would find it running on the Train Tracks, and probably some of the nicest people/hippies ever. Once it started getting cold we built one of the ghettoest huts ever. We decided if we were homeless we would do it easily. It was ghetto but was legit as fuck and kept us warm as the Sun came down and the storm pushed it's way in. We finished around 6ish and had to wait a few hours for a ride. We doodled in some magazine and I ended up passing out. Around 8ish we left and finally got to come home. We got free passes to the Fashion show tomorrow though and had a lot of pizza. I was out like a light bulb as soon as I got home. I got some sleep that I've really needed but still need more.
-March 3rd. I couldn't get much sleep today. I went to bed an hour before I had to be up for school.
-March 2nd. I've looked back on prior events in the last months that I started this 365 blogging project. I I'm so glad everything that has happened so far has happened. These last couple of months things have been good for me. I love every life I lead and every culture I have. There are more days I cherish than others. You probably wouldn't know it because they barely happen. I'm sure only a handful of people know when I love my life and the people who surround me. From the thought of what my Aunt Tami told my Mom. I'm glad people can look at my life or read about it and envy what I have. It seems very simple and care free but at the end of the days I still have the same problems and thoughts a fully complexed person has to deal with.
These last couple of Months I've kinda been getting sick. Sick with this routine. It's a constant routine of school, breaks, hang out, friends, girlfriend, emotions, and stress. I love my road trips; they are probably only thing that has kept me sane except for the days I spend with the old hang out kids from Uprok. Everyone has been so hyped up on "Change" and how we need it. Where is my Change at? I'm still waiting for something new and don't know how much longer I will be able to wait. Patientance is something I've mastered growing up...but it's starting to run out as the days and the same routine drags on. I need something....I need another breath of fresh air. In a way I'm honestly lost with myself. I don't know what I want...it could be the Change and not about Obama.
To sum up how things are though other than my wishing for "Change". It's perfect and going really good. I'm still connected to my Mom, Lorenzo and the rest of my Family. My friends have been getting to me and I'm still trying to find my niche. My art and culture are going very well and I will be entering a Weber State Univeristy Art thing coming soon. School is also almost done and I'm slowly crossing days off the calendar. My hair needs a haircute and I will possibly help out Christina with a modeling thing in about two weeks. I will also be helping her add a few more things to her shop. If you are a local and need a haircut check out Kaos Saloon. We are bringing the Salt Lake City life back into our lives. Denver Roadtrip needs to come faster than two weeks as well. RAIN FEST! I only have a few months left and that year wait for Europe really needs to speed it's process up. I've become close to new people and I hope they become more apart of my life. And my Ipod seriously won't die!
Now that you've read that all and might be a little lost. This is Ricco. This is who I am. This is my Spring Cleaning. Nothing has felt better than this! I've become a lover of our Utah Valley Polution. It always seems to come in at times like this in my life. It's like the dirt in my life. Soon it will be gone and will be back to blue skys. I will always have my blue skys to look up too!
-March 1st. This month started off on a Sunday; and what a glorious Sunday might I add. It was an nice grey and overcast sky. I spent the day with Kayla. We laid around the whole bed holding eachother for seconds upon minutes wishing we wouldn't have to let go of eachother. Around 6ish we decided to start moving around and make some food. I picked up around the house and grabbed our blankets, Kayla made us some pb and j's and I got the milk and chips. We went to our tradition of wrapping up in our blankets, eating food, and watching a movie. After our little snack Kayla and I cuddled and watched Baby's Mama Kayla ended up leaving around 7 or 8ish. After she left I came back in my house to finish Baby's Mama and called Hannah. We chatted about our project and after 30 or 45 minutes of talking about the assignment she ended up coming over. We chatted for a bit and finished Baby's Mama. My mother ended up coming home a little later and we all laughed and talked. Hannah left an hour after and I went and got dinner. Ended up coming home and finished the first day of my Spring Fever. I'm way past due for Spring!
-March 22nd. Dinner Date with Kayla was today. We woke up pretty early once again. We got ready and sat aruond the house, chatted with my Mom, cuddled, made jokes, ate popscicles and watched The Office. A little later Kayla and I was getting hungry and we decided to have Noodles and Company for a second night. We ordered in and Kayla went and got it. I told Adam to hook it up with some drinks so we got that for free. She came home and we had dinner together. We watched The Office and made silly jokes.
I've never had something that means so much. I mean come on..we are adorable.
-March 21st. After Kayla spent 4 hours in the car just to come see me and I talked to her mother most of the night we fell asleep and woke up pretty damn early. It was about 10 o'clock am and that isn't like us. We got ready, ate cereal and ventured around the house. Nato ended up showing up when we were getting ready and brought me food and kicked it with us for a bit. Kayla got upset with her friends and Nato and I cracked jokes and laughed. Around 2:40ish we all left. Nato left with Fat Anthony and we headed down town to get my hair cut. That was the highlight of the day. I've needed one so bad and I finally got it cut all off. Afterwards we all ordered in food for dinner. My Mom ordered Mexican Food and we ended up ordering at one location and than went to another. Kayla and I ordered in Noodles and Company because that's our thing. We stopped at 711 afterwards to get some drinks and headed home to watch The Office and eat.
After dinner Kayla and I cuddled and made jokes. She ended up falling alseep on the couch while we were watching The Office and I went and got ready for bed. Kayla got up to join me and we sat in bed and talked. Nato called around like 2 and came over to spend the night. It was a good day at sea
-March 20th. It was a beautiful day today and I have to sit inside all day. Fuck House Detention. Kimmeh came and visited me which was really nice. Since none of my other so called friends have. It's been relaxing I assume. I've done some reading, writing and have listend to a good portion of music.
Later Kayla got on and informed that she was going to come down tonight because she couldn't take it anymore. It made the rest of my day
-March 19th. HARRY SOLD OUT OF VEGETARIAN!!! Probably one of the greatest days of my life. Carnivores 1. Veg heads 0
-March 18th. After my allergies kicked in I came home and slept the rest of the day. I've been really tired lately
-March 17th. Trying to get back into a routine with court shit on my mind. Honestly wish I would have stayed in Seattle and took some consequences. Least I would have my youth.
-March 16th. Got home around 8ish from the Road and had court at 10. HOLY FUCK is it stupid as fuck. I don't even know where to begin with the shit they are trying to get after me. It doesn't even make sense...but as long as you have a badge, and a crooked system you can charge anyone with anything. FUCK YOU FUCKING FUCK!
-March 15th. Woke up to our last day in Seattle. It was a day filled with rain. I didn't want to go back to Utah. Nato and I played a prank on our friends stating that we weren't coming home and that we were staying. So that was pretty fun. We drove around the city last time and got in our last photos. We stopped at the Harbor and looked over to Canada and than it was off to the baseball park. This trip had made my life. Fell asleep a few times on the way back, stopped in Portland and than came home. Fat Anthony got pulled over again and got a ticket this time. It was one hell of a road trip.
-March 14th. This is all I have to say. This is the beginning and the ending of the day. FUCKING WOW! Fuck who you want to see. I stage dived and piled on with Terror. We are not tough, we are not hard, we are not cool, we are all fucked up kids. Doesn't matter if you have long hair, or short hair. Whether your light skin or dark skin. Or have a dick or a pussy...we are all fucked up kids who have gathered in one single place for one thing. Music.
It was a good rainy day in a place I want to call home so badly. I've met some people and ran into a friend who left us all. It was nice meeting you Jaimie and Aubrey. It was also nice meeting all the locals.
-March 13th. Around 10:30ish we were talking about what to do since Dan's parents have cracked down and got all strict. The boys started talking about a road trip. Everyone threw in their suggestions. First it was going to be Boise, than it went to Wyoming for fireworks, than Denver and finally Seattle was the last destination. Everyone was getting hypy; except for Ivan because he knew he couldn't go and had to sit home with gays. I told Nato and Anthony just to wait a day and I could go...we said fuck and we were going to talk my Mother into it tonight. We headed over to my house and got into my house. My Mom was walking around and we told her that we were going to Seattle. It took a minute for my Mom to realize what was going on and had to ask us multiple times if we were really going. We said hell yeah we weren't playing and all she said was "you have school". I told her that it was an un important day after Nato was answering all of the questions she asked me. I made a few calls and tried to get a hold of Melanie. But since she changes her number every other week I couldn't get a hold of her and had to leave her a voice mail. We packed our shit and grabbed our bags. After we got everyone that was going and was set on going. Nato called or received a call from Brian and we went and seen the new born baby.
It's so weird to think that I'm so close to someone and they have a kid which is now going to be apart of mine and my friends lives. The baby is beautiful and has both features of Brian and Courtney. CONGRADULATIONS KIDS!!!
We left the hospital to meet up with Anthony at his house. We threw his shit in the car and we headed down to Provo to pick up his friend Alicia. By the time we picked her up it was 1 o'clock and hit the road.
The drive to Boise consisted of us guys singing N'sync and Backstreet Boys. We bumped a bunch of old tunes such as The Crannberries, Mortal Kombat(FULL FUCKING SONG), Space Jamz and than the typical road trip music: Trash Talk, Bracewar, (n1nth) cloud, and Y@K Ballz!. Somewhere after we got this boost of energy I was out like a light.
Possibly an hour later I woke up to Anthony nudging me asking me if I could get in the glove compartment. I woke up and looked over to see red and blue lights flashing behind us. We laughed for a minute and I got to searching. The cop ended up coming on my side and it was really awkward. This took place around 5 am. Once again I was out for the rest of the trip.
I would wake up to adjust and get situated, pick a song, and drink my orange shit.
I was up for the rest of the trip a little while before we reached Portland. We drove around Portland for an hour trying to find the Mall. My good friend Melanie called us up when we were at the 711 and told us she was going to meet us at the mall. We got to the mall and it was ridicolous. It was a three story mall with a fucking ice rink in it. We complained about why our mall doesn't have one and than argued with a Phone Sales Man. We ended up walking around the mall and found this little Pirate Shop. It was very sweet little shop. Not to long after we kicked it in their Melanie and Jordan walked in. It was so nice to finally see this girl who has had such a big impact in my life. After four years we finally sealed something to do on our to do list. It was very nice to meet Jordan as well. He makes one of my best friends happy and has showed her what a real boyfriend can be like. Plus that mother fucker is taller than I thought. We chatted for a bit and laughed at dumb little things. We asked Melanie if she knew any vegan places for Anthony to eat at and made fun of him like we usually do for eating turtle food. After we got a few places for him to eat at. Jordan said we had to cross the bridge into the city. One of my favorite things about Portland so far had to be the bridges and the whole city. We arrived in the city and parked in China Town. We started our adventure from their to find this Veganoplis place. We stopped at a Starbucks to ask for directions and found out that the little vegans went out of business. We laughed our asses off and the guy gave us another place to eat. It was called Rocco's...it was a little pizza shop that had Vegan Pizza. This place was fucking bomb! It was pretty sweet though...The slices were bigger than our faces and they sold beer at this place. You don't get that shit in Utah. Pizza was amazing and was so close to the road it was like eating in the middle of traffic. Anthony didn't want to eat his Vegan pizza because it had mushrooms and some shit he didn't like. So Nato and I eat that shit!
After we got food we went back down to Chinatown so Anthony could eat. That place was really creepy with some crazy asian lady on the tv. Once Anthony was done eating it was time to get on the road.
We had three hours ahead of us due to traffic. I love the road more than anything. This road trip has to be one of my favorite trips. Just everything about the road is incredible. The nature, the bridges, the overpasses, the train tracks, the road and the images.
I fell alseep on and off during the last three hours of the trip. We finally arrived to Seattle around 8 o'clock. We have drove around the city, ate food, got lost, checked out the Stratisphere and got a dope ass deal on a Hotel.
We got a room with a King Size Bed. A hottub in the room and a extra bed. It's legit and probably the greatest thing to me right now.
-March 12th. Today was a pretty good day. I got Married to Hannah in Adult Roles and for some reason found myself shaken. My mom checked me out right before lunch to deal with some things and I ended up going to lunch with my Mother and driving around talking. Once we did what we had to I went back to school to tell Shelly that I was done for the day and to talk to my brother. Afterwards I bumped into Hillary and spent half an hour talking to her. After school I had to take my brother downtown to get a hair cut. We ended up chatting and than coming home afterwards. I hung out by myself for a bit till my mom got home. Than we went to Jamba Juice, confirmed some paypal stuff and I ordered some clothes. Today was the first time I've had Jamba in almost a year. The last time I had Jamba was with Taryn around the ending of the school year. I ended up falling asleep and didn't finish my Jamba Juice. I'm pretty upset about it....than Nato came over and we ended up taking a mini-roadtrip through the canyon with Ivan and Jon Jon. It was a pretty laid back day.
-March 11th. I spent the day with a friend who has become a good part of my life. He will be missed...I will write more later.
-March 10th. Some of my friend Sara's writing. I really enjoy reading here writing. In a way it's been a big inspiration.
-It's in the Wind
I expect too much. from you, from me, from the world. I expect too much, but too much by their standards not mine. what I expect, what I need, what I know can and will happen, is not too much, but just enough.
we are so much more. so much more than everyone says that we are and can be. what they tell me is beauty and joy isn’t enough for me.
I must and will have more. and I will because the little gap in my heart that causes me so much pain, the skip in the record that needs to be filled, gives me room to find the extraordinary. and I will. my heart will feel more than you ever thought a heart can feel and my mind will see things that no one even knew existed: the little gossamer threads that tie life together, and which, if you don’t look carefully enough, you will miss as you see things moving in space and not the ties that bind them.
just watch me.
-March 9th. About an hour into the day I'm glad to call it a day. It was planned to be a "headache day" and sure enough that's what it has been. The headache has came, thoughts have rushed, Shook Ones has played my Ipod out. It's times and nights like these were I don't feel much. My Ipod repeats my favorite songs and bands like a broken record. My hair gets dirty and I procastinate on taking off my socks. I get hot and cold flashes that torture me into ripping off and throwing on my Champion Hoodie. Is this the Change I've been looking for? Or is this what I've been destined to do? Is this your so former God's punishment for me not being able to look up and call him Father? I'm only a brother; and no Son. I've forgot what's it's been like to be a Son cause my Father was never there. I've become a Brother among families and families. I'm still moving things for my chance....moving things to put in the perfect place to make me. I've made a name for myself and I've started to do something with my life. I will be remembered in someones eyes....I just hope they remember me enough to visit my tombstone and celebrate my death. That's a thought that has scared me into not sleeping. Will people say they miss me enough to visit my death bed? Or use me as a way to get out of work and school? Answers and thoughts that keep me up throught the night I call sanctuary.
You know the quote from Stand By Me and how you never have the friends you do when your twelve? I thought about it today for some odd reason more than others. The other night I had a dream, I guess even a nightmare. I was in my old neighborhood and they were tearing my friends old house down. And for some reason we went in it...I don't know for memories or just to break things but I was walking up the stairs with someone..someone who is a blurr to me. We were walking up the stairs to the second floor. Which would lead to Justin and Brennan's bedroom. There was family pictures of this family that was almost my family. For some reason I broke down...I cried my eyes clean. Since that dream I've thought about the Helstein family and how much I miss them. That family was supposed to be there forever. I was supposed to Jr. High with my bestfriend. Go to school dances, experience growing up forever. They moved away and I haven't heard from them in years. I don't know if this has to do with being a Senior and almost graduating. But it's starting to hit me. The closest people I've had in my life have seemed to go on to bigger and better things. It gets to me...what do I have to look foward too? It scares me sometimes
-March 8th. A Sunday with an overcast that showed my life in the heavens above. It showed blue skys with shades of grey. The only thing I've been looking foward to. Y@K BALLZ! with the boys. A last minute show and one artist I thought I would have never seen. It was a good day down at the shop. Nato and I got in dirt cheap because we are homies and went down to Carl Jr's to get some food. I've always felt dirty when I eat there...I don't know why but I feel homeless or scummy. The show was amazing, KOSHA DILLZ was sick. Check out that lil jewish homie. Nice guy great music. From Definition opening up, to open mic and watching friends and strangers freestyle to Kosha Dillz was amazing but during Y@K's set I started getting that feeling...the same feeling of when you don't get a call from a loved one, the same feeling of being away from home as if you are a runaway, the same way you feel when you look back at the friends you once had or even the promises your parents coulnd't keep. Music is my life...and I got put in this mood for one song. I seen the disapointment in my friends eyes when the set was over and he still hadn't played that one song. Once he thanked everyone and brought up that the song that wasn't played and why it hadn't been played. He told the story of why he was now going to play it. The excitement and sparkle in my friends eyes and including of mine made all of those past feelings of insecurity and of confusement away. Y@K played "Spy On You" and that was the night. Plain and simple. From beginning to the end. You have to know my friends, the memories that song has and brings. The meaning...the night
-March 7th. Woke up and started playing some Halo. Jumped in the shower and got ready. Nato got home right when I got done getting ready and started back up my Halo Game. We went and got food and than went to a party for his friends. I ended up knowing some people from the party and they were people I haven't seen since they graduated or moved. It was a pretty ok night... it's always nice to get away from things and surround yourself with people who don't know you outside of those walls. It was like the party scene from SLC Punk. I was Herion Bob and didn't say much. It was in reality a weird night.
Afterwards we met up with everyone at CC and tried to decide what to do for the night. We sat around and chatted. Nato, Alyssa?, and I went back to Brians to call it a night. I watched Stand By Me as they fell asleep. After the movie I played some Halo and than fell asleep with my two blankets feeling completely alone.
-March 6th. It was a blurr really...
-March 5th. Fashion show, with Keylow and Werst.
-March 4th. I headed down to BFE with Werst to photograph this thing he was painting for a Fashion Show. The day started off pretty good and than it got really cold. We met one of the biggest dogs ever. A stray dog that looks like you would find it running on the Train Tracks, and probably some of the nicest people/hippies ever. Once it started getting cold we built one of the ghettoest huts ever. We decided if we were homeless we would do it easily. It was ghetto but was legit as fuck and kept us warm as the Sun came down and the storm pushed it's way in. We finished around 6ish and had to wait a few hours for a ride. We doodled in some magazine and I ended up passing out. Around 8ish we left and finally got to come home. We got free passes to the Fashion show tomorrow though and had a lot of pizza. I was out like a light bulb as soon as I got home. I got some sleep that I've really needed but still need more.
-March 3rd. I couldn't get much sleep today. I went to bed an hour before I had to be up for school.
-March 2nd. I've looked back on prior events in the last months that I started this 365 blogging project. I I'm so glad everything that has happened so far has happened. These last couple of months things have been good for me. I love every life I lead and every culture I have. There are more days I cherish than others. You probably wouldn't know it because they barely happen. I'm sure only a handful of people know when I love my life and the people who surround me. From the thought of what my Aunt Tami told my Mom. I'm glad people can look at my life or read about it and envy what I have. It seems very simple and care free but at the end of the days I still have the same problems and thoughts a fully complexed person has to deal with.
These last couple of Months I've kinda been getting sick. Sick with this routine. It's a constant routine of school, breaks, hang out, friends, girlfriend, emotions, and stress. I love my road trips; they are probably only thing that has kept me sane except for the days I spend with the old hang out kids from Uprok. Everyone has been so hyped up on "Change" and how we need it. Where is my Change at? I'm still waiting for something new and don't know how much longer I will be able to wait. Patientance is something I've mastered growing up...but it's starting to run out as the days and the same routine drags on. I need something....I need another breath of fresh air. In a way I'm honestly lost with myself. I don't know what I want...it could be the Change and not about Obama.
To sum up how things are though other than my wishing for "Change". It's perfect and going really good. I'm still connected to my Mom, Lorenzo and the rest of my Family. My friends have been getting to me and I'm still trying to find my niche. My art and culture are going very well and I will be entering a Weber State Univeristy Art thing coming soon. School is also almost done and I'm slowly crossing days off the calendar. My hair needs a haircute and I will possibly help out Christina with a modeling thing in about two weeks. I will also be helping her add a few more things to her shop. If you are a local and need a haircut check out Kaos Saloon. We are bringing the Salt Lake City life back into our lives. Denver Roadtrip needs to come faster than two weeks as well. RAIN FEST! I only have a few months left and that year wait for Europe really needs to speed it's process up. I've become close to new people and I hope they become more apart of my life. And my Ipod seriously won't die!
Now that you've read that all and might be a little lost. This is Ricco. This is who I am. This is my Spring Cleaning. Nothing has felt better than this! I've become a lover of our Utah Valley Polution. It always seems to come in at times like this in my life. It's like the dirt in my life. Soon it will be gone and will be back to blue skys. I will always have my blue skys to look up too!
-March 1st. This month started off on a Sunday; and what a glorious Sunday might I add. It was an nice grey and overcast sky. I spent the day with Kayla. We laid around the whole bed holding eachother for seconds upon minutes wishing we wouldn't have to let go of eachother. Around 6ish we decided to start moving around and make some food. I picked up around the house and grabbed our blankets, Kayla made us some pb and j's and I got the milk and chips. We went to our tradition of wrapping up in our blankets, eating food, and watching a movie. After our little snack Kayla and I cuddled and watched Baby's Mama Kayla ended up leaving around 7 or 8ish. After she left I came back in my house to finish Baby's Mama and called Hannah. We chatted about our project and after 30 or 45 minutes of talking about the assignment she ended up coming over. We chatted for a bit and finished Baby's Mama. My mother ended up coming home a little later and we all laughed and talked. Hannah left an hour after and I went and got dinner. Ended up coming home and finished the first day of my Spring Fever. I'm way past due for Spring!
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